Kitty
by BadWriter9001
Summary: Romance! Comedy! Edgyness! Info waifu getting some much needed attention! What more could you ask for?
1. Chapter 1

Argo was exasperated. Drained. Irked. Miffed. Jimmies thoroughly rustled. Other synonyms she'd likely come up with having NOTHING ELSE TO DO ON THIS DAMN FLOOR.

She couldn't stand inaction. It was the reason she chose to adopt the role of info broker as she had in so many MMO's before. It's not like she needed that much money, since most expensive items were high-level gear, and if you aren't fighting on the front lines you don't need it. And it's not like she was contributing to the clearing effort in her own way out of pure-hearted altruism, otherwise she'd just release all information to everyone.

No, the reason she did it was out of habit. Something to do other than sit around an instanced inn room and pray that someone else clears the game for her.

So given that motive, you might think it strange that Argo chooses to continue spending all day wandering floor 13, chasing after a rumour that has thus far eluded her for weeks. Well the reason for that is quite simple. Sheer stubbornness, and perhaps a not-so-healthy dose of the sunk cost fallacy. There have been too many reports of this same rumour for it to be complete bullshit, and she'll be damned if she gives up after investing this much time.

So what is this rumour you might ask? Well to understand that, you first need to understand something about floor 13. It has a reputation as something of a noob-trap. Every floor preceding it was relatively forgiving, as early levels in any video game tend to be. The idea is to gradually introduce mechanics of the game to the player one at a time in isolation so they can learn the game without being overwhelmed.

Floor 13 is where that ends. Anti-crystal zones, enemy group compositions that cover their own weaknesses, ambushes, traps, ect. It's something of a final exam to combine everything you've learned on the previous floors.

It also has the second highest fatality rate of any floor, behind only the first floor, courtesy of all those initial deaths.

And that's where the rumours come in. Apparently some player has taken it upon themselves to act as a benevolent guardian of the 13th floor, rescuing newbies when they get in over their heads. All she knows about this player is that he dresses in black, and uses a polearm. He swoops in to save the day like batman, and then just fucks off to god knows where.

It's a story that's too juicy to pass up.

And so for the past two weeks, Argo has been coming to the 13th floor, and playing damsel in distress. Naturally the monsters are no threat to her, since her level is much higher, but he can't know that. Her observation level is maxed out. Not only does this guarantee that she can see the level, and basic stats of any player or monster in the game, it also prevents her from being observed in kind by anyone who hasn't also maxed out observation. And very few people have any reason to do that.

Little did she know, her efforts were about to pay off in spades. And on the first encounter of the day no less.

Going through the motions, Argo equipped all the low-level equipment she had. She was a perfect imitation of a player on this level. On top of that she made sure to equip a dagger with it's durability almost depleted. She'd bought hundreds of these things for cheap off a blacksmith. Who else is in the market for low durability trash weapons?

Second order of business was to put her acting skills to work, traipsing through the town like an overconfident newbie on the way to get her ass handed to her. She could only hope her target didn't recognise her face doing this every day, or the jig would be up. She couldn't afford to buy a new disguise every day, instead settling for doing it at different times. Hell, for all she knew the guy might not even go to the town, and her little act was being seen by no-one. She knew next to nothing about his method.

What she DID know however, was where he usually operated. The shaded forest, which happened to be the deadliest place on the deadliest floor. The vast majority of reports come from this place.

Because it's a forest, enemies can attack from any direction, even above. But this floor is no stranger to ambushes. No, what makes this place particularly deadly are the spectres. Ghost type enemies that can turn invisible, causing blades to pass through them. They have a tendency to spawn alongside zombie apes, that hit hard and unpredictably. Not a threat to an experienced player, but that combo is frighteningly effective against an unprepared newbie.

So what did Argo do? Wander into the forest humming a merry jig without a care in the world. May as well have worn a sign on her back that said "come and get me boogie monsters"... She might have been hamming it up just a little...

Naturally it didn't take long for a grouping of the aforementioned monsters to descend upon her. In a practised charade, she feigned surprise and leapt back, drawing her dagger and taking a sloppy defensive stance. An intentionally poor tactical decision. Going on the defensive would only give the monsters time to circle her. She lashed out at the nearest spectre, only for it to vanish, while an ape struck her from behind.

"Gahhh!" She shouted, pretending that the hit actually did damage.

The fight continued as such, with her and the monsters trading blows. She took out two of the apes before intentionally blocking at the wrong angle, causing her dagger to shatter in her hands.

"Wha!... Noo!" she screamed, trying to escape with no luck. She was surrounded on all sides. She started taking hits with no way to defend. She curled up in a ball on the floor, in a desperate attempt to protect herself from the hits that would do no significant damage to her. Alright, time to wrap up this performance.

"No... Someone please... HELP MEEE!"

And then it happened...

A flash of steel...

The impacts against her body stopped...

The sounds of objects shattering...

Oh please lord tell me this is the guy, and not some random passerby...

Argo slowly raised her head...

And there stood the very figure that had been described to her in all of her reports.

Tall, dark and handsome. Dressed all in black. Leviathan skin, it looks like, Very high level light armour, tailored into loose fitting pants and shirt. Matching black combat boots, and a single belt pouch. Seems he travels light. And a heavy scarf around his neck, obscuring the lower half of his face. And just like the reports said, in his hand was a polearm. A large scythe...

…

wait, what?

A FREAKING SCYTHE?!

Scythes aren't a thing in SAO! Why the hell did no-one mention that?! It's kinda hard to miss! Opening my menu I activate my observation skill and check out his stats.

**Name: Yuya**

**Level: 96**

**Highest Combat Level: Halberd – 68**

**Highest Skill Level: Alchemy – 81**

**HP: 46700/46700**

Goddamn those numbers are high... They're on par with the front lines.

And his name is Yuya, huh?

But what's with the halberd level? Could it be that his scythe is just a re-skinned halberd? It's not uncommon for games to do that, but so far she had never witnessed it in SAO. The full-dive technology made it impractical, the weapons shape fundamentally changes how it handles. What was going on here?

"... You ok?" He asked deadpan.

Argo decided it was about time to pick her jaw off the floor, and drop the facade.

"Hehe!... Yuya... I've been looking for you..." She purred, switching out her scrub gear for her usual attire. Smug look plastered over her face.

His eyes narrowed

"Just now... That was all an act. You're above this floors level..." He responded

"Yup! Pretty convincing, huh?"

"Who are you with? Laughing coffin...?" He asked, tightening his grip on the scythe. The tough girl act immediately left Argo's face.

"W-What?! No! I'm an info broker!" She sputtered. Well, there goes any chance of playing it cool.

The look of murder on his face changed to one of disappointed exasperation.

"Jeez, now the paparazzi are coming after me?" He said

"Wh... Huh!? Whaddaya take me for, some sort of... trashy celebrity gossip journalist? I said I'm an INFO BROKER! There's a difference!" She responded in an attempt at indignation. Instead it only came across as pouty and adorable.

"I'm not giving you my autograph." He said turning around and walking off.

"I'm not a fangirl either! Hey, get back here! I'm not done yet!" She shouted chasing behind.

"How long have you been putting on that little show for my benefit?..." He asked with a slight incredulous tone.

"TOO LONG! TOO LONG MISTER! I've had ta put off business for WEEKS to follow this lead, and goddammit I'm gonna get some good info out of it if it's the last thing I do!"

"I don't have any info for you, sorry"

"Whaddaya mean you don't have any info!? You're some kind of vigilante who swoops in ta save players on the 13th floor, AND ya have a weapon that shouldn't even exist in the game! Do you have any idea how much that information is worth?!"

"I'm not some hero if that's what you're saying. I come to this floor for ingredients, and I just happen to be in the right place at the right time. I help people when I can, it's not like I go looking for it." He countered, still power-walking away from the conversation. Argo had to jog to keep up with his stride.

"Well what about the scythe!? That's nowhere in the directory! It's never been seen before. Not even the people you saved mentioned anything about it."

"That's because it's new. And I'm not telling you how I unlocked it."

"I'll pay ya of course. Name your price!"

"I don't need money."

"I'll give you info!"

"Don't need info."

"I... GAAAH! You're impossible!"

"Are we done here?"

"No we are not mister! This isn't over! I always find the information I want, ya hear me? ALWAYS!" She said, giving up the chase and just shouting after him. The man in black didn't even react, he just kept walking.

-

Argo was drawing in the dirt with the point of her dagger. She couldn't believe how badly her dropped the ball back there. For an info broker, credibility is everything. You need to maintain an air of confidence at all times. Like you are totally in your element. The other guy has to wonder just how much you know. You have to hold all the bargaining chips.

But this? This was the opposite.

She had NOTHING going in to that encounter. She had been so caught up just trying to FIND the guy, that she hadn't planned what to do when she did.

Not that further planning would have gotten her anywhere. There were literally no other leads. All evidence points to him being a solo player, so chances are slim she'd be able to find anyone else who knows anything.

But she hadn't given up just yet, oh no. She just needed to have a bit of a sook to get the frustration out of her system. After all, she did get quite a bit out of that short conversation.

First of all, a name. Yuya. With her maxed out tracking skill, she could find almost anyone who's name she new so long as they were on the same floor. Teleporting between every floor till she found him would be time consuming, but not difficult.

Secondly, the vigilante thing was basically a bust. It didn't sound like he was lying when he said it was pure coincidence. Disheartening, considering it was her original motivation for finding the guy in the first place.

However thirdly, and this was the big one... His scythe. That one discovery more than made up for the loss of her original scoop. A totally new weapon class no-ones ever seen before. And a flashy one at that... it'd be the biggest find she'd ever made. The demand for that info would be off the charts...

Only problem; he wasn't talking.

He seemed pretty adamant on not revealing how he unlocked it. Wouldn't accept money or info... which leaves her with two options.

A) Figure out what he wants more than anything, and trade it for the info.

B) Figure out the secret to unlocking the weapon on her own, and observe him for clues.

She had no way to know which option, if either, would work in this situation. But fortunately the first step is the same regardless which route she went:

"I'll have to stalk him..."

You can't hide anything from Argo the Rat.

-

**Alright, so I thought I'd give you guys a heads up on my intentions going into this story.**

**First of all, I don't know everything there is to know about SAO. There's a lot of side content in the form of manga, light novels, games, ect, and I haven't seen it all. I did my best to read up on Argo to learn as much as I can before writing this, but I don't know everything, so I'm guaranteed to get things wrong. On top of that there will be some changes I make to not only her character, but the world as a whole, in order to make the story work the way I want it to. For example, I know Argo uses claws in the main canon, but in this story exotic weapons like that are only accessible through hidden quests with special conditions, and are therefore very rare. In this story she will use a dagger instead.**

**Secondly, this story is primarily a romance. I like Argo a lot, and wanted to give her some attention that she sorely lacks. There may be some smut down the line if I feel like it, but don't worry, if you don't want to see that stuff, I'll make it easily skipable.**

**And finally, to anyone who's found their way here from my RWBY fic, I'm sorry I went dark on that. Lost motivation, you know how it goes. I may come back to it down the line and do a rewrite if I regain my passion for that particular story.**


	2. Chapter 2

In SAO, your level and progression are limited by the number of points that can be allocated to your various stats. However skills work differently (not to be confused with sword skills). You can train any skill you like as much as you like and it won't affect your level. This is because skills are non-combat oriented. Theoretically you could max out every skill in the game, the only thing stopping players from doing exactly that is the time it takes to train them. Front-line players only have time to train a handful of these skills since they need to keep up the grind for their combat level. But players who aren't trying to stay at the front lines are under no such limitations.

Like a certain pest that had been following Yuya around for the past couple of days.

While her combat level was middle-of-the-road, she had more skills at high level than anyone else he'd met. Tracking to find him wherever he went, sprint so he couldn't get away, Hiding so that he could never be sure he was alone, and observation to make sure that whatever privacy he thought he had was a pipe dream.

His own observation skill wasn't half bad, so he'd spot her every now and then, but she didn't seem to care, sometimes not even bothering with stealth, content to tag along and pester him.

Of all the threats Kayaba could throw at him, being annoyed to death was how he'd go out for sure.

The one saving grace is that no matter how much she investigated, she'd never learn the secret to unlock scythes. And nothing she could offer would get him to tell her.

"Hey, don't you usually turn in for the day at this hour?" He asked, voice raised so as to reach her location currently reclined on a tree branch some distance away

"Why do ya ask, you got something to hide? Maybe you were about to do some seeeeecret business ya don't want me to know about?" She shot back, smug grin on her face.

"Actually I was just thinking of doing some skinny-dipping in this lake over here, thought you might want to leave before you saw something you didn't want to see." He replied, poker-faced as ever.

"Oh hardy har. Hilarious joke."

"Who's joking?" He said, already unequipping his armor.

"Wh... HUH!? Kya!" She screamed in shock before literally falling backwards out of the tree, and landing headfirst in a bush.

Hah. Her sassy attitude is such a front. She's too easy to tease. He walked over to the spot she fell from.

"I can't believe you literally fell for that. You know the ethics code doesn't let you take off your underwear outside of private rooms right?"

"I... O-Of course I knew! Ya still can't go strippin down to ya skivvies in front of a girl like that!" She spluttered, beet red and trying not to look at his still exposed figure. Yuya decided to show her mercy, and put his armour back on.

"Should have worked on your acrobatics skill more" He said, walking off

"I do, smartass, it doesn't help when you're caught off guard." she responded, brushing off the leaves and following along behind.

"Ya know I'd be outta your hair by now if you'd just tell me what I wanna know." She said.

"Contrary to your best efforts, you're really not THAT annoying."

"Aww, has little old Argo started to grow on you already?" She said, turning the smug back on.

"Careful, if you keep flirting with me your 'business colleagues' might put two and two together and jump to some unwelcome conclusions about 'little old Argo' and a certain mysterious stranger she's been stalking." He replied. Business colleagues of course referring to other info brokers in her little network.

"Ugh... Ya say that in jest but that's exactly the sorta thing they'd do..."

"Are you saying there's a market for the relationship status of girl players?" He asked, looking at Argo with one raised eyebrow.

"Sigh... well yeah, but I meant they'd just spread rumours. Don't worry ya pretty lil head about me, I don't have much of a fan club" She replied. Yuya silently hoped that the ethics system didn't have any loopholes that pent-up creepers could take advantage of. It was a worrying thought given the lows this life-or death situation had brought people to already.

Reaching the end of the forest zone, the pair found themselves at the base of the highlands. Yuya brought out his map and looked over it with the same precision as every previous area on this floor.

"There ya go with the map again... whaddaya even lookin' for? You've been doing that all day. If it's some secret quest or something you could just buy the location off me ya know..." That got his attention. He stopped scanning his map an turned to look at Argo, brow furrowed.

"How much do you know?..."

"Nyahaha! Hear something you like Yu-boy? Is that enough for you ta finally spill it?" Argo teased.

Yuya just stared at her brow furrowed.

"Ehh... what's with that look? Ya kinda creepin me out..." She said in a tone of mild discomfort.

"... A trade. I won't tell you about my scythe, but I'll tell you what I'm looking for if you help me find it. Is that sufficient?"

"Man, ya really drive a hard bargain..." She complained, scratching her chin in thought. But he hadn't given her ANYTHING to work with so far. Beggars can't be choosers.

"Alright, ya got a deal. So spill it, what are we finding?"

"... How do I know you won't go back on your word?"

"Easy. Reneging on a deal is bad business in my line a' work, my credibility is on the line. Besides, I can't help ya find this thing till I know what it is we're finding." She declared, hands on hips.

"..."

"..."

They were both silent for a long moment before Yuya spoke up;

"... Pkers"

"...What was that?"

"I'm hunting a guild of Pkers. Small group, probably four or five at most, mid-level. They've been targeting players on the previous floor. I'm searching nearby floo-"

"Woah, woah, woah, hold up just a moment..." She interrupted, her smug grin giving way to a look of barely contained horror.

"Yuya, have ya lost your mind? Your a SOLO PLAYER. Solo players are crazy enough just fighting monsters alone, but Pkers are a whole other story..." She argued.

"I do it alone because no-one else would be willing to do it my way"

"Yeah, cuz it's CRAZY..."

"Are you going to help me or not?" He said, clearly getting tired of her protests.

Argo was silent for a long moment before responding.

"... There are three major topics info dealers don't deal with in SAO. The first is real life info. The second is false info. And the third is info on player killers. It's just too dangerous. Pkers are a secretive bunch, and for good reason. If word got out I was sellin' info on them, they'd come after me."

"Sounds to me like you're reneging on the deal?.." He responded in an unimpressed tone.

"That was before I found out you were completely INSANE! Besides, I don't even HAVE the information you're looking for..."

"Ugh..." He grumbled then walked off.

Argo didn't know what to do. The sudden revelation that Yuya was on a suicide mission just made her job all the more difficult. She didn't want to put her life on the line for this... and yet it was her fault she got into this mess. Honestly, their little deal was incredibly lopsided in his favor. The only reason she took it was out of frustration, since she'd gotten next to nothing out of him this whole time. Normally she wouldn't take a deal with such vague wording. If she hadn't done that, she wouldn't have forced herself into a corner like this.

In the end her professionalism and desire to make things right won out.

"WAIT!" She shouted, running to catch up.

"hold ya horses, ya suicidal weirdo!..." He turned around and silently waited for her to catch up.

"Alright look, I don't know much about Pkers because I don't go looking for info I can't sell, but I HAVE picked up one or two things over time."

Yuya's irritated face returned it's neutral state. Argo continued;

"But before I tell ya anything, you gotta promise this stays between us. I'm stickin' my neck out here by helpin' someone who's huntin' down Pkers."

"That's fine." Yuya replied.

"Alright, well since you're lookin' in the wilderness already, I assume you know that Pkers tend to make camp outside city centers to wait until the red marker wears off?"

He nodded.

"Well, you're goin' about this all wrong. Searchin' nearby floors won't help ya, since teleportation can take you ta any floor ya like just as easy as the next. There's no reason they'd set up shop one floor over from their huntin' grounds."

Yuya's eyebrows raised at that revelation. Seems he hadn't considered that. She continued;

"So either they camp on the same floor, or they teleport to a floor with a remote telepad, somewhere that players don't have any reason ta hang out near. Most floors the telepad is in the middle of town, so that narrows it down."

"... I see... I've already searched the floor in question, so now I should be checking the floors with a remote telepad..." He says while scrolling through maps of various floors.

"You got it. I'll even do you one better, and compile a list of floors for you. Should have it done tonight." She said.

The pair just looked at one another for a long moment. Yuya was his usual poker-faced self, but Argo appeared... concerned.

"... Something on your mind?" He asked.

"Sigh... No it's just... I hope ya realise how far I'm stickin' my neck out here..."

Yuya was silent for a while before replying;

"... Alright I'll throw you a bone. I feel bad for giving you nothing."

"You're gonna what now?"

"I'll tell you about the scythe..."

Argo's face slowly began to light up in a gasp as she realised what he'd said, but before she could celebrate too soon, Yuya clarified;

"-But only a little! I'm not telling you how to unlock it, I'll just tell you how it works."

Argo's mouth snapped shut, and she just nodded silently, not wanting to interrupt what he was about to say.

Yuya drew his scythe and began explaining;

"It's a branch off the halberd skill tree. It's a high-risk high-reward playstyle, with a unique instant kill mechanic."

Argo's eyes widened at that. Instant kill moves were unheard of in SAO, but it is thematic she thought.

"Do you understand why I don't want people to know how to unlock it now?" He asked.

"Because you're worried Pkers will use them ta kill players more easily... Does this have ta do with why you're huntin' them?" She asked

"... Actually that wasn't what I was going for, but thanks for giving me another reason not to tell..."

Damn. She'd just played herself.

"If that isn't the reason, then what is?"

"I already told you, it's a high-risk high-reward playstyle. Word will get out of a flashy new weapon class eventually, and everyone will want it. And then they'll die en-masse because it's too dangerous to use." He explained

"... Is that it? But aren't halberds already risky as-is?"

"Yes, but do you know why?"

"Not really. That sorta info is common knowledge among players, there's no market for it."

"Then I'll give you the cliff notes. There's a stat called 'impact' which you might not be familiar with as a dagger user. It's what makes heavy weapons viable. The higher your impact, the more likely you are to interrupt an enemy attack. Fast weapons don't need it because they can slip between enemy attacks. But polearms are in a weird middle-ground where they're too slow to slip between attacks, but don't have enough impact to interrupt most enemies. Spears don't have this problem thanks to better reach, and defensive bonuses. Now in a normal game this wouldn't be a problem, the risk is offset by reach and versatility. But this is SAO. Risky playstyles are a bad idea for obvious reasons. Are you following?"

"Yeah I got it, but how does this relate to your scythe?" She asked.

"I was getting to that. You see when I was using a halberd, I had to rely heavily on my reach, and a special sword skill called 'brace' which all polearms get. It stops enemies that are charging, and gains damage and impact based on how fast the enemy is moving. Scythes on the other hand don't get brace, and to make matters worse their reach is a little shorter. The trade off is much higher damage, and access to instant-kills. In short the scythe is even riskier to use." He concluded.

"Yuya... that sounds impossible, how the hell have ya survived this long?" Argo replied incredulously.

"... With great difficulty. I have to rely heavily on parries, and when that doesn't work... just powering through with raw DPS." He answered.

"You're mental... you've gone insane! Do ya have some kind of death wish or something?! First ya take on Pkers solo, and now I find out you've picked the most suicidal weapon EVER... How do ya not trip over all those marbles you've lost?!" She berated.

"... Nope. Not telling. That's all you're getting for today." He said dismissively, before walking away.

"Wha... Yuya! Ya gotta stop that habit of walkin' off on me!"

"I didn't ask you to follow me. Not my problem if you get left behind."

"Mister WE. ARE. NOT. DONE HERE! This conversation isn't over!"

"Good luck holding a conversation by yourself." He teased.

"GAH!"

Although despite his words, Yuya continued this banter all the way back to the safe zone. The pair were both as stubborn as one another, and in all the back and forth Argo almost missed the solemn look on Yuya's face following the heavy conversation they'd just shared. If she didn't have some familiarity with his mannerisms by now she'd have missed it.

She didn't like that look...

**Sigh... Damn, I thought if I just bit the bullet and posted chapter one it'd give me the kick up the ass to keep writing, but it took me this long to get out chapter 2... This is hard man...**

**Anyway, hopefully I can get through it eventually. I have the full structure of the story in my head, and it's a fairly short simple story. It's just a matter of getting it onto paper.**


End file.
